Romans 5:1

Back in February I was having a Facebook Messaging conversation with a friend, we were talking about what God might have in store for our lives as we try to live a Christian life. For example: How we can share God's word...How we can minister to others...How we can simply lead by example. Most of the time I just don't feel like I'm ready for the "job", that I'm not quite "qualified" to do the do. I can think of a million examples why He should pick someone else to minister to "that" person. Every single time I feel like I've just disappointed Him when I choose to turn the other way and ignore the nudge.
Some of my exact words to my friend that day were: "I'm going to be in faithful prayer about it and hopefully he will open some amazing doors for me! Let me rephrase that...I'm sure the doors are already open for me, I just need to be able to know which ones to actually walk through!"
Soon after typing that to her I went to take a shower. I call my shower time my thinking time! I used to get in trouble when I was a little girl for taking such long showers but that is where my thinker comes on! Romans 5:1 popped in my head! Over and Over and Over! I had a kink in my neck that wouldn't go away so after showering I laid down on my bed for a minute. ROMANS 5:1 was still swimming in my head. OK, OK...I get it! So, I picked up my phone that was laying next to me and tried to get my bible app to connect. Well, after the 3rd or 4th try of it "not working" and freezing up, I decided satan was really trying to divert my attention. I leaned up and reached over to my nightstand to read Romans 5:1 out of The Message Bible (it was the closest to my reach). Following is what it said:

By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. Romans 5:1-2

WOW!!! I couldn't believe that I was/am worthy of doing His work even if I don't think I'm "ready". THE DOORS ARE ALREADY OPEN!
Here it is almost 2 months later and I'm still thinking about that conversation. I DON'T want to give up this time! So many times the feeling fizzles out! I'm going to keep praying that I will know which door(s) to walk through!
I have a huge "story" to share from losing a Dad in a car accident...to growing up in a blended family...to losing a husband to cancer when he was only 25...to raising a blended family AND surviving through it!...to becoming a MiMi at age 35.
I know others share similar stories and most of the time that is what stops me from sharing. I think "Oh...nobody wants to listen to me ramble, they probably already know my story!" I've shared my testimony in church a few times in front of a small crowd and every time I get scared to death! I end up reading off of my notes! It's my life...why do I have to read it from a piece of paper? I want to know how to speak and share and minister to others! I FINALLY realized that God grooms us along the way! Being an oldest child it's hard to not have everything perfect before taking the plunge! If I keep up that kind of thinking then I'll NEVER get to share His word!
She Speaks is having their annual Conference July 22-24, 2011. I would love to be able to go! Talk about really diving in!! This BLOG is offering a scholarship to go and I would love to be picked! Please be in prayer for me as He shows me through the "door".
And if you have a story to share be sure and sign up for your chance to go also. Don't wait until you have the PERFECT story! Otherwise it may never happen!

*SheSpeaks Conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of God. My desire is to serve Him!